INFLECTIONS…

 in-flec-tion \in’flek-shen\ 3. A change in pitch or intensity in the voice. Brit.sp. in-flex’ion. Webster Illustrated Contemporary Dictionary.

 For reasons not listed anywhere, I don’t pretend to be a writer. It takes me a while and then more of a while to string the words together that finally…paint my sentence vision. I think some call it “visual thinking”, I just know it is oft-times easier for me to draw emotions than emotionally write them.

 ABBA’s song “Chiquitita” lyrics found me this morning as I ran my usual 3.5 mile west/east river loop, hitting the play/repeat on my magic music machine the entire time; hearing the words over and over until I was in tears.

We are what we quote and sometimes-good quotes, words from sentence artists or songwriters, serve as canvas…

 

There is no way you can deny it

I can see that you’re oh so sad, so quiet.

BABE In Memory  12.30.2001--06.27.2013In Memory of Babe    30.12.2001 to 27.06.2013

 

You were always sure of yourself…

You will have no time for grieving.

Good Grief...Or NOT...

Get a hair cut at a salon that serves beer…

 But the sun is still in the sky and shining above you.

Eagle Point OR Firework Display with...Eagle Point Oregon Firework Display. Just the one…

...my son and family.

My son and family drove up from Oakland, California and i drove down from Portland to meet in the “middle” (southern Oregon) for the July 4th holiday. Then….

Flew to San Diego California to see Eloise...The Keeper, Eloise at 92.

…I flew to San Diego to see Eloise AND watch the Lone Ranger movie with my dearest friend, Kemosabe who lives on Coronado Island, San Diego California, then…

...and see the Lone Ranger movie with my Girlfriend Kemosabe.Coronado Bay Bridge, San Diego California

coming home to an “empty” house without Babe greeting me was still too much to bare…so painted the entire inside of my flat…

New Paint...Every room. Every wall.

 

So the walls came tumbling down

…and it seems too hard to handle…

My 90-year-old Mother took a serious fall and is now in a skilled nursing home for a few weeks until she can be returned to her assisted living home. My Step-Dad, also 90, is trapped in the dark Alzheimer world of no memory and no return.  After a long and happy marriage, Dad will be moved to memory care…and Mother will remain in their apartment once she is able to come home. It has been a struggle that many of us orchestrate as caretaker’s of aging parents.

 Let me hear you sing once more like you did before…

1Point in Portland Meet-up

Meeting 1PointPerspective and his beautiful Mrs. 1Point during their family holiday to Portland was probably the highlight of, and the happiest three minutes I’ve spent in a very long time. He may have a different version, but the meet-up was long enough to get the above photo…

Just the one.

What surprised me the most was that he was a wee bit bigger than the 1-inch square gravatar on his WP website.  In case you are confused:  I’m the one in black/white all over…

Personally yours: sincere thanks to El G., James, FrankA. and Z. for care and concern.

You’ll be dancing once again and the pain will end…

Always just not there quite...…always just not there quite…

 

ABBA’s “CHIQUITITA” was originally recorded in 1978, and the revised version released as a single in 1979. The song about a former lover now in the arms of another premiered at the UNICEF gala “A Gift of Song” event. To this day, all proceeds of the song go to UNICEF in recognition of the United Nations’ “International Year Of The Child” held in New York, 1979.

 “CHIQUITITA” lyrics in italics and credited to songwriters: Benny Goran Bror Andersson, Bjoern Ulvaeus, Marcelo Kotliar.

 

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43 thoughts on “INFLECTIONS…

  1. I’m so sorry for you having lost your beloved forlegged friend Babe ♥. She looks like she is ready to jump into my arms and just pour love all over me. You have a lovely flat, a great sense of humour and I adore your paintings. I’m leaving for Norfolk next week, hope to see you in Cley next the Sea, my dear.
    All the best
    Dina

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    1. Oh, yes…let’s try to make a meet-up happen. Arrive Cromer the 12th, but then move on to Salthouse the next day…for a week. The following week we are in Blakeney…both in-between Cley-next-the-Sea!!! I have Church Lane down as an address…Klaus sent it ages ago. Or we could meet elsewhere….? I’ll email you since I will have my cell phone and see what works for all. Thank you so much for the Babe sentiments….she was so precious and so beautiful. See you soon!!!!!

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  2. Sometime ago, a new friend commented on something she had heard – we don’t make new friends, we recognise them and I feel that if we were to meet in real life, we too, would recognise each other.

    I’m so sorry to hear about Babe and agree that only those who have loved and lost a pet can really understand how it feels. If ever I was sad as a kid, I would seek out one of our cats, bury my face in her fur and do all my crying there. I really feel for you not having fur when other things in your life are hard. Clearly though you have very good blogger friends in aFrank and El G.

    I love your paintings by the way,very beautiful and just love the dancing one, the title of which reminded me of my Mum’s wise words, ” Ths too will pass”

    Love to you, S

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    1. Serendipity…YES!…and I also know that “you are supposed to be where you are…when you get there.”
      I think I made that up…but for me, it is so true. Thank you for being there when I arrived.
      You should thank El G. for sending me to you…a post he did months ago…he truly is a prince of a man, along with FrankA. Take on the rest of your day…mine is just beginning…and thank you, again.
      Love and Friendship, R.

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  3. what an amazing up-close-and-personal post you’ve written! i laughed about ‘get a haricut where they sell beer.’ – that sounds like latin america!

    you’ve had a lot on your plate, and i think maybe just maybe you’re starting to find your way out of the numb zone. life has given you a maze of trials, and you are going to emerge with the strength and dignity that makes you special. i sometimes credit the most difficult experiences to giving me the most personal growth – and independence and backbone.

    i’d love to step through your front door and enjoy a long soothing visit in that beautiful interior of your home. job well done!

    there’s a link i am going to try to find about music and alzheimer therapy. hopefully i can find it pronto…

    your paintings are always fun and well done. they are worthy of new yorker material!

    you’re a good woman, raye! don’t forget that!
    z

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    1. You are the amazing one, Sweet-Tea….let’s call it a draw. However, the New Yorker bit was a bit over the top, but it made me smile just to think I have you as a friend…a good good friend. Thank you for that. Yes….strength in trial by fire…or something close! Dad is now in memory care: very structured but activities which include art and music. He’ll be much safer now and perhaps a bit happier. Thank you for the “HuffPost” link. I appreciate the research and will pass it along to Susan…care giver for Dad. Looking forward, one of these days, travelling to Ecuador and helping you begin, start or finish a project on a floor, wall or ceiling. Matters NOT where. What a hoot that would be!!!!!! Look for me…I’ll have a new travel hair cut…and packing beer!!! XXO…..Raye

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      1. no it is not over the top at all.. it’s my true feedback, honest and genuine.

        i had lunch w/a good friend who is an amazing writer. i told him (and his wife) that his writing is so refreshing/unique/entertaining, that he deserves a much larger audience.. and if no one else wanted the job of manager, i volunteered. i think i could do the same for you!!!! your work is strong and uniquely you!

        “Matters NOT where….” made me think of Thoreau: “Matters not the time of day or the attitude of man.. morning is when i am awake and there is a dawn in me..’

        oh yes! we’ll paint the entire landscape! i would love to show you the beautiful country of ecuador!

        z

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  4. My heart goes out to you. The loss of a dear fur friend is difficult enough.
    I love your painting; it would make me giggle everytime I looked at it.

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    1. So honoured you stopped by…I do so admire your work. Inspiring. We (I should say “I”) need that “kick start” to keep exploring. I continue to be intrigued by your “dock” mesa painting.

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    1. My computer won’t let me read you anymore Main Street…which makes me very sad…and frustrated! Something about fishes…and not the swimmy kind. My son-in-law tells me it’s me (as usual) and not you……..

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  5. Gosh! I am lost for words as you had mentioned briefly in our emails about your turbulent times but to have this all in such a short space of time. I offer my thoughts and prayers to you and hope that your art work offers a form of therapy. Regards, james

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    1. Seems we both take comfort in “creating blue images” to smooth the bumps…just got your email. Will respond shortly. Appreciate your thoughts…mine back to you. R.

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  6. Sorry about babe. She was so beautiful. Hope you hand is healing well. Your painting is beautiful and so is your apartment. Take care.

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    1. All is good, Monica. As you know from your own experiences…one day at a time works best…for the most part. Yes…for the most part. Thank you so much for stopping by. R.

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  7. Raye, thanks for sharing so many pieces of you with us. Condolences on Babe. Babe looks just like our Sammy who we had to put down three years ago. I understand the empty flat, which looks lovely after your paint job. Your rug resembles one we have in our dining room, so I immediately loved it. Sorry your mother took a fall, but glad she is being taken care. We lost my wife’s mother to Alzheimer’s, so we know that darkness you speak of about your dad. Best wishes on all fronts. Take care, BTG

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  8. I’m sorry to hear about the many difficult entrees on your plate. Life seldom seems to dish out troubles one at a time. It was a pleasure to meet you, one I’ll surely write about once I finish this “Dog Days” challenge. I only wish we could have hung out a little longer, but family vacations seldom have any room for doing what one wishes. I’ll be in touch again soon, be well.

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    1. You don’t know this…as I’m walking towards our meet-up my cell phone rang. It was the doctor I needed to speak to re: my folks. Rainbows appeared…surround sound. Meeting you and seeing your beautiful family in the midst of celebrating “lunch” was…neon coloured rainbows. Full volume. The day could not have gotten better…

      Say goodnight, Gracie…

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  9. I thought of you a few days ago, I was doing my last mental rounds before falling asleep and I made a mental note (I keep forgetting those don’t work for me…i need to make a REAL note) to leave you a comment in the most recent post you had up just to say: “hope everything’s OK and you are just enjoying a no-e (no electronics) Summer” . That’s of no use anymore, but it’s so bittersweet to read you today, sweet because you are back opening the doors to your life and wonderful home through your post but bitter for the sadness and difficulties you have been through in this time. I am happy you saw each of your family members and with tears in my eyes at seeing you said goodbye to another the most beautiful Babe, oh what a face, and those eyes that say, I can see through you… I’ve been through that and it does get better and eventually we can talk about the best memories… Take care of yourself, remember the instructions in case of an emergency landing…well it’s a metaphor for us women who take care of all and may forget to take care of ourselves first…huge hug my dear Jots, my thoughts have been with you and will continue to be, Alexandra

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  10. So much to face at once. I wish you strength and perseverance. Caring for aging parents can be very difficult, both physically and emotionally. I hope they fare okay. And I hope you do, too, and that you get a chance to seek your own peace a bit.

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  11. Ah Jots, I’m so sorry for everything you’re going through.
    Being part of your support group (and having you as part of mine) is an honor and a privilege.

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    1. Wild Thing…you truly make my heart sing!! Your “menus” not so unlike mine…it always helps to be told that there is always someone right next to you sharing the darkness and unknown. Yes…there for you…I’ve got stick matches to light the way…

      Went back and re-read your July post and question you asked re: grumps and “…makes me wonder how you deal with them…?” I play the piano and draw and read author Jack Handey’s “Deeper Thoughts”. Example of his brilliance: “As the light changed from red, to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way.” Jack Handey’s thoughts take my grumps and makes them disappear……

      You asked…..

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  12. Boy, Raye. That’s a lot going on at once at way too much to have to juggle. So sorry about your beloved pet. I enjoyed the pictures of your beautiful family and your flat. Lot’s of ups and downs this summer! I am glad to see a post from you since it’s been a while. I hope the rest of the summer goes smoothly.

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  13. You are the fourth blogger I follow in as many months who has lost a dear pet. As the slave of 4 cats, one quite elderly, I get it. It sounds like your plate is full with your parents. Sometimes this is when you need the unconventional love and comfort of a pet the most. Babe was gorgeous! Peace my friend.

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    1. Kate…know about how cats rule the roost. Babe used to be the leader of our family “pack”….she was great for giving them attention and “back-off” signals when they became a bit much and too needy to her liking and/or peace of mind. It’s funny how we are re-adjusting to our missing link….I need to learn to speak “dog”….that would help!!!! Nice to hear from you…thank you.

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  14. We have a beloved dog, Opus, that has been with us 15 years. He is arthritic, mostly deaf, and cataracts are taking part of his sight, but we appreciate every day we are allowed to be together. I enjoy every moment with him, and dread to think of what life will be like with the empty hole, after he is gone.

    You certainly have a plateful going on in your life, and as your reader, above, notes, please remember to breathe. And most importantly, your number 1 priority is to take care of yourself. If you’re not in good shape, you won’t be much help to others. Take time for you, to rest, nap, walk, run, see a show, read, or whatever you need.

    My thought go out to you

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    1. Oh Barney…thank you so much. It has been a month of difficult decisions: meetings with doctors and nurses, directors of care facilities and lawyers. And of course Babe’s veterinarian. The day 1Point and his tribe came to town…there is no way he can know this…was truly a rainbow day! There really was, and is, light at the end…of all those tunnels…

      I read an article once that our pets are with us for as long as we are allowed to have them. It doesn’t make us miss them less when they are gone…but perhaps makes us fortunate to have those many years of shared moments to lessen the emptiness created by their absence. I know that Opus is living a loved-life. Raye

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  15. I’m so so sorry about the loss of your beautiful dog. I know that pain. It is a deep, sometimes quiet pain only understood by fellow animal lovers and pet owners. Managing aging parents is so difficult on so many levels. Just remember to breathe. 🙂

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    1. Scott Simon (NPR staple) *tweeted* about his Mother recently and then shared in a public forum what “sharing” on social media means to some, and personally meant to him. If I remember correctly and can import my own thoughts into his conversation…it can be the common denominator that, without a doubt, brings all of us together in a worldly “room”, as opposed to the isolation often felt. Simply…thank you for being in that “room” with me. Raye

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  16. Strength and peace to you, my friend. The loss of dear pets is one of those ton-of-bricks moments of life. And dealing with again parents from such great distance is difficult – then alone one with Alzheimer’s. I’ve also wondered about your hand …. is it OK now?

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    1. Frank…thank you for kind words. I do so enjoy sitting on the front porch with you at the end of the day, watching the sunset, and getting the audible replay of yours and Mrs. FA’s excursions and adventures. It brings “normal” and comfort. Have added your name to the PERSONALLY YOURS aside, an omission on my part. Hand is great…my left-hand drawing substitute is feeling a bit…over looked!! Raye

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      1. Thanks for the smiles. Meanwhile,here’s something to give your left hand some much-needed hope …. you could draw with it on upcoming Lefthanders Day (sometime next week) … thus I’ll announce it on my next Monday Morning Entertainment post. Meanwhile … stay positive!

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        1. Done, Frank….on all fronts…and looking forward to your Lefthanders Day!! What a hoot!!!! Smiling always…who could not when one lives in a neighbourhood such as ours? R.

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