INNUENDO…OR WAS IT SOMETHING I ACTUALLY SAID?


For the umpteenth time in too many months…I’ve rubbish-binned VIAGRA and CIALIS advertisements from my email in-box. I’ve complained, moaned and groaned to wax-plugged ears…mainly My Reader…only because I am not talking about a few penis-related SPAM entries… I’m talking about a lot…an embarrassing…A LOT!

What gives?

I’m female. Of a certain age. Old enough to have had…
My Reader interrupts,  ” Focus…..just get to the point….”
Right!
Perhaps it was something I said but most certainly only in jest that has put my writing and written vocabulary on the watch-list for all things penis-related. Personally, I don’t think so. Then again, perhaps…just maybe… any kind of sex or sex-related innuendo I may have jested about has played a part in the cyber-spaced, job-related word-spy thingy. 
I’m not big on computer spy technical terms and *thingy* has an appropriate ring to it.

My Reader is positive…almost positive…that  I don’t do innuendos. I don’t think I do innuendos either but…here-in may lay the big but (albeit butt?) frustration of SPAM up-loads which could, or might be based on my supposed (yet innocent and jest-full) use of innuendos and perhaps just perhaps the use of all things penis-word related and…which could be probably is the resulting SPAM I receive…and true story is driving me absolutely *nuts!
Walnuts

Walnuts (Photo credit: Wikipedia) Every jest intended. I’m innocent.

Is it just me or do you, too, hear that rumble…

…that SPAM space-loaded rumble of butt, tush, bum, rear, and all ass-related innuendo-type words which could most likely would not only include but or butt, and all things ass related but-butt four-legged pack animals sluggishly, spiraling down the Grand Canyon on steep trails which mean I could and probably will be receiving unwarranted information from animal lovers AND animal savers, not to mention every world-wide Chamber of Commerce that produces tourist information brochures about every canyon and mountain trail kiosk that has anything to do with ass-packing or ass-carrying animals, and which now is compounded by the use of the word *nuts (used above) which could and probably will  be SPAM innuendo-counted in the Anything To Do With Category of squirrels, trees,  hiding food in trees for winter, recipes using nuts or tree branches and bark,  all reality TV food networks with nutty and/or squirrelly chefs.
Say what??

At this juncture I know that I’m in deep doo-doo. Whatever I write will be used against me…not that I seriously think I’m a persecuted person or a victim, but-butt could use the shite-word  only in innocent jest to loudly declare my frustration….but no telling what that would bring to my email SPAM receiving in-box. In an attempt to clear the cyber air…I can categorically state that I’m not a persecuted squirrel asking My Reader to send me a victimized chef who doesn’t know how to toast his nuts over an open fire using innuendo-type tree bark for flavor or fuel. Nor do consider myself a potential VIAGRA or CIALIS user…..and this I know for sure…I’ve never had to spell check the word pe-nis.

In closing, I plead  “…Twang your magic thumper, Froggy…,” and make the SPAM go away.

In closing, My Reader says, “Fat chance…..”

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